I spent Saturday battling entropy and entropy totally won.
The day was spent churning an endless supply of clothes through the washing machine and into the dryer. It rained all day. Why was the supply of clothes so over the top? Because Ruby is being ‘toilet trained’ in the loose sense of the word. She doesn’t wear nappies and she is taken to the toilet, where she sits and chats. Then she gets off the toilet and urinates copiously. Alas.
So there were a lot of weed-on trousers to wash. Also, every single one of our jumpers had to be washed because Ruby had accidentally defecated on the couch. The couch, people. The place I sit. And, foolishly, the place where our jackets and scarves were piled, all of which had to be washed and dried on a very rainy day.
Then Ruby threw one of Pearl’s toys behind the couch and I spent a good hour (but not a fun hour) pulling everything back there out before I found it. On the bright side, it’s now tidied and swept. We all had restorative ice creams and went to the library. Ruby came so close to success there – sat on the toilet in the community centre, widdled on the floor of the carpark. A quick change of clothes and we were off to the Ipad repair centre to deal with the totally smashed screen that was the result of Pearl dropping it on the stairs.
The girls behaved so badly there that it was just embarrassing. And when we left, Ruby opened her umbrella in the car in a way that obscured my view as I attempted to back the car around a corner, past a bin, in the rain. I completely lost my temper and leapt out of the car, took the umbrella and threw it in the boot shouting that she could never have it again, never, never, never. Not a very good threat as of course she needs it when it rains.
We went home and had lunch and then –thank God - the girls watched *Dinosaur Train* while I calmed down upstairs. In these circumstances, a change of pace is what is called for, so we set off for the park. We got to play there for about twenty minutes before the drizzle turned into a torrential monsoon which utterly drenched us all. Like soaked to the bone.
We piled into the car and somehow – and this was typical of the day – a swarm of some kind of insects came in with us. Dozens and dozens of small, flying creatures. I’ve never seen them before – like a tiny stick with wings, about a centimetre long. It was like that scene in *Teen Wolf* where the doctor is murdered by being run off the road when her car is filled with moths.
We drove off, with the car full of bugs. Ruby tried to have a drink. Her water bottle somehow – God only knows how – exploded. The nipple at the top stopped working and the whole lid burst off, covering her with even more water.
I figured we could try Plan B which was to go shopping for items to send off in Operation Christmas Child. This is a chance for them to choose presents to send to a little girl whose parents can’t afford to get her gifts. Pearl really embraced the concept but Ruby was much more interested in choosing stuff for herself. (Bear in mind, she is only three). She found a Roar-Roar monkey and then lay on the floor screaming that she wanted it. I was so weakened by that stage that I said yes, yes, she could have it. Screw the true meaning of Christmas being giving. The lesson I teach is that the most important thing is to get toys for yourself by tantrating. So then of course Pearl had to choose a toy as well which involved examining every single toy in detail and took so long that time actually began to run backwards.
So we walked back through the rain into our bug-infested car and went home. What an amazingly rotten day.
And compare it with the next day, where the only extra work I had to do was to find Pearl’s missing doll, which involved stripping her bed, moving and moving everything under it. Again, at least it has been swept up now.
We even did extra work. The girls helped me clean the shower and sweep the dirt up outside (in the rain). Once again, I kept the washing machine and drier running all day. But we went to church which meant, crucially, that the girls were in Sunday school without me for half an hour *and* I got to nap during the sermon. Rest my eyes, I mean.
And in the afternoon we went to an indoor playground, so I got to read *Three Guineas* while the children played.
From my point of view, there was 100% less stress on Sunday. From the kids’ point of view, there was 100% less shouting at them.
So there were a lot of weed-on trousers to wash. Also, every single one of our jumpers had to be washed because Ruby had accidentally defecated on the couch. The couch, people. The place I sit. And, foolishly, the place where our jackets and scarves were piled, all of which had to be washed and dried on a very rainy day.
Then Ruby threw one of Pearl’s toys behind the couch and I spent a good hour (but not a fun hour) pulling everything back there out before I found it. On the bright side, it’s now tidied and swept. We all had restorative ice creams and went to the library. Ruby came so close to success there – sat on the toilet in the community centre, widdled on the floor of the carpark. A quick change of clothes and we were off to the Ipad repair centre to deal with the totally smashed screen that was the result of Pearl dropping it on the stairs.
The girls behaved so badly there that it was just embarrassing. And when we left, Ruby opened her umbrella in the car in a way that obscured my view as I attempted to back the car around a corner, past a bin, in the rain. I completely lost my temper and leapt out of the car, took the umbrella and threw it in the boot shouting that she could never have it again, never, never, never. Not a very good threat as of course she needs it when it rains.
We went home and had lunch and then –thank God - the girls watched *Dinosaur Train* while I calmed down upstairs. In these circumstances, a change of pace is what is called for, so we set off for the park. We got to play there for about twenty minutes before the drizzle turned into a torrential monsoon which utterly drenched us all. Like soaked to the bone.
We piled into the car and somehow – and this was typical of the day – a swarm of some kind of insects came in with us. Dozens and dozens of small, flying creatures. I’ve never seen them before – like a tiny stick with wings, about a centimetre long. It was like that scene in *Teen Wolf* where the doctor is murdered by being run off the road when her car is filled with moths.
We drove off, with the car full of bugs. Ruby tried to have a drink. Her water bottle somehow – God only knows how – exploded. The nipple at the top stopped working and the whole lid burst off, covering her with even more water.
I figured we could try Plan B which was to go shopping for items to send off in Operation Christmas Child. This is a chance for them to choose presents to send to a little girl whose parents can’t afford to get her gifts. Pearl really embraced the concept but Ruby was much more interested in choosing stuff for herself. (Bear in mind, she is only three). She found a Roar-Roar monkey and then lay on the floor screaming that she wanted it. I was so weakened by that stage that I said yes, yes, she could have it. Screw the true meaning of Christmas being giving. The lesson I teach is that the most important thing is to get toys for yourself by tantrating. So then of course Pearl had to choose a toy as well which involved examining every single toy in detail and took so long that time actually began to run backwards.
So we walked back through the rain into our bug-infested car and went home. What an amazingly rotten day.
And compare it with the next day, where the only extra work I had to do was to find Pearl’s missing doll, which involved stripping her bed, moving and moving everything under it. Again, at least it has been swept up now.
We even did extra work. The girls helped me clean the shower and sweep the dirt up outside (in the rain). Once again, I kept the washing machine and drier running all day. But we went to church which meant, crucially, that the girls were in Sunday school without me for half an hour *and* I got to nap during the sermon. Rest my eyes, I mean.
And in the afternoon we went to an indoor playground, so I got to read *Three Guineas* while the children played.
From my point of view, there was 100% less stress on Sunday. From the kids’ point of view, there was 100% less shouting at them.