emma_in_dream (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
emma_in_dream) wrote2010-05-06 01:53 pm
emma_in_dream) wrote2010-05-06 01:53 pm
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And now the flip-side
I am so happy to be pregnant, but I do genuinely have worries.
And I'm not looking for just reassurance on this. I do welcome your constructive criticism, despite my earlier post.
* That I might have a child like my sister (in the sense of her sleep patterns). She did not need more than four hours a day of sleep and didn't sleep through til she was six years old. Could I handle this?
* That I don't have enough money. I will have to go back to work after six months, which is virtually nothing. The poor little bubba probably won't be able to sit up at that age.
I really didn't want to go back when Pearl was 18 months but six will be even worse.
* The thought of going through establishing feeding again. (And also, finally weaning Pearl).
* That I might have a child I don't like! What if I don't like him or her? What if I find him or her irritating as I do some of the children from playgroup? We'll be locked together for the rest of our lives!
* What if I can't handle two sets of children needing things at the same time. How do I feed them both at the same time? Comfort them when they are both awake at the same time?
* And what if the poor child has something wrong with his or her genes due to my advanced age? The tests came back as 1 in 500 for Downes, which is a lot worse than Pearls 1 in 3,500. That's the difference that nearly three years makes.
* And what if Pearl does not like sharing my attention?
Oh, there are lots and lots of issues. However, I believe that all parents face these issues when they have babies. So hopefully I will soldier through. One thing at a time.
Right now, priority number one is for us both to get over this wretched cold that is making us so low.
And I'm not looking for just reassurance on this. I do welcome your constructive criticism, despite my earlier post.
* That I might have a child like my sister (in the sense of her sleep patterns). She did not need more than four hours a day of sleep and didn't sleep through til she was six years old. Could I handle this?
* That I don't have enough money. I will have to go back to work after six months, which is virtually nothing. The poor little bubba probably won't be able to sit up at that age.
I really didn't want to go back when Pearl was 18 months but six will be even worse.
* The thought of going through establishing feeding again. (And also, finally weaning Pearl).
* That I might have a child I don't like! What if I don't like him or her? What if I find him or her irritating as I do some of the children from playgroup? We'll be locked together for the rest of our lives!
* What if I can't handle two sets of children needing things at the same time. How do I feed them both at the same time? Comfort them when they are both awake at the same time?
* And what if the poor child has something wrong with his or her genes due to my advanced age? The tests came back as 1 in 500 for Downes, which is a lot worse than Pearls 1 in 3,500. That's the difference that nearly three years makes.
* And what if Pearl does not like sharing my attention?
Oh, there are lots and lots of issues. However, I believe that all parents face these issues when they have babies. So hopefully I will soldier through. One thing at a time.
Right now, priority number one is for us both to get over this wretched cold that is making us so low.
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Other things - keeping a fruit bowl with a couple of pieces of fruit in it in reach (not too many, or they might all end up with bites in them!) so that if Pearl wants to eat while you are feeding she can be self sufficient (and bring you one as well!). I also used to keep water bottles where kids could reach, so that if I needed a drink while feeding, they could bring me one.
There are lots and lots of little things that will make this easier. I found the worst was trying to get multiple children to sleep, and my older ones watched (too) much in the way of Wiggles while I tried to settle younger ones. People will happily give you much advice - if you want it, please ask!
I think that you are very brave, to have made this choice. I had the advantage of time when I had one small child, to wait and see, so chose to not have a second one as a single parent, and I am so very glad that despite the medical issues, I was able to have more.
And a final thing - there may well come a day when you believe that you can't cope. Call a friend, call family, get them to come and be the responsible party. You are welcome to call us, and we will do our best to be there for you (A is very good at putting infants to sleep!). That panic of not being able to cope happens to lots of people, especially when there is a shortage of sleep.
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