Life Update
Oct. 21st, 2013 08:08 pmInstead of just fangirling about Tennyson I should write a proper post about my life. (Anyway, poor Tennyson was subject to enough fannish stalking, requests for autographs and celebrity photography during his life. Did you know Lewis Carroll took a photo of him?)
Anyway, since the slash gathering at my house last week I have been busy being sick. I wish I could have spent more time with Special_Trille at the gathering but I was overwhelmed with a terrible fever and exhaustion. I actually tried to lie down on the ground to rest but the kids just jumped on me. This was followed by a putrid sore throat and I took all my days off work and slept instead. My poor children have heard a constant refrain of ‘No, Mummy can’t read, Mummy can’t tell stories, Mummy can’t push the swing, Mummy is too sick’.
I still feel very tired and distant from everything in my life. I think it is because I just want to rest but the only time I can see where I might be able to rest is – 2016 when Ruby starts school full time. Until then I just have to soldier on, and it’s only a few years, and really the best years of my life in a way, but I just feel so tired and run down and there is no prospect of a time when I will not be running full sprint from my part-time work where I am never fully committed to my kids who resent me not being there all the time, while squeezing in what housework I can, while hardly ever getting to see my friends, and feeling guilty about not managing it all more gracefully.
So that’s basically what I’ve been doing with my life – feeling tired, being tired, finding 20 minute windows to nap in, not being well, not seeing any way out.
Anyway, since the slash gathering at my house last week I have been busy being sick. I wish I could have spent more time with Special_Trille at the gathering but I was overwhelmed with a terrible fever and exhaustion. I actually tried to lie down on the ground to rest but the kids just jumped on me. This was followed by a putrid sore throat and I took all my days off work and slept instead. My poor children have heard a constant refrain of ‘No, Mummy can’t read, Mummy can’t tell stories, Mummy can’t push the swing, Mummy is too sick’.
I still feel very tired and distant from everything in my life. I think it is because I just want to rest but the only time I can see where I might be able to rest is – 2016 when Ruby starts school full time. Until then I just have to soldier on, and it’s only a few years, and really the best years of my life in a way, but I just feel so tired and run down and there is no prospect of a time when I will not be running full sprint from my part-time work where I am never fully committed to my kids who resent me not being there all the time, while squeezing in what housework I can, while hardly ever getting to see my friends, and feeling guilty about not managing it all more gracefully.
So that’s basically what I’ve been doing with my life – feeling tired, being tired, finding 20 minute windows to nap in, not being well, not seeing any way out.