(no subject)

[emma_in_dream]

Lori Gottlieb says that women who have failed to find their perfect partner by the age of 30 should give up their search for Mr Right and settle instead for Mr Right Now.

"Older, single women often deny themselves any chance of finding happiness by failing to downgrade their expectations, says author Lori Gottlieb.

Women are being fooled by happily-ever-after films, television programmes and books - from Friends to Jane Austen novels - into believing marriage is about finding The One. Instead, she argues, women should be realistic and understand that marriage is not a "passion-fest" but instead a "partnership formed to run a very small, mundane and often boring non-profit business"."

Obviously these are the rantings of a madwoman, so no ned to refute them. The bit that seems odd to me is the massive misreading of the sources.

I wasn't really a fan of *Friends* but doesn't the title kind of imply that the emphasis is on friends rather than romance?

And her reading of Austen (in this synopsis) seems, frankly, kind of nutty. It's not like Austen women go out with a dozen men before defiantly settling down as spinsters.

In fact, as I count it, the average number of proposals per woman is like two. Is Gottlieb arguing they should jump at the first one and not wait to see more than one man? Literally the first person they meet? Mr Collins? Mr Rushworth? Mr Elton?



Pride and Prejudice

Lizzie has three proposals, but, seriously, can anyone think she should have settled for Mr Collins?

Jane accepts the first proposal she received.

Ditto Lydia.

Average number of proposals: two.

Sense and Sensibility

Both Marianne and Eleanor marry the first man who proposes to them.

Average of one.

Mansfield Park

Fanny turns down the creepy Henry Crawford and then accepts her cousin.

Maria accepts Mr Rushworth first time round, which turns out to be the worst decision in any Austen book.

So: two proposals as an average for the heroines.

Persuasion

Anne stupidly turns her husband down the first time and then gets happiness the second time.

Average: two proposals.

Northanger Abbey

Also two proposals.

Emma

Emma has two but one is from Mr Elton; Harriet (who is a twit) takes two.

Average for heroines: two.

Comments

[aryas_zehral]

Jane Austen is an odd choice to make but perhaps what Lori Gottlieb is getting at is not the realities of Jane Austen but the fantasies that have grown up around it, that whole Darcy-mania/Austen-mania thing where- if you are just witty and pretty (and lucky) you too can get yourself a rich, gorgeous, devoted man. I do worry that too many people are unrealistic and reject what could make them happy in order to seek an elusive ideal seen in those hideous Mills & Boon esque books or romance films. The thing that strikes me with those is just how easy it is to find the rich, gorgeous, devoted man because he just appears in their lives and only needs to be 'saved' in order to be the heroine's.

(Hi. Was looking at who had interests in common with me and was attracted by the Dark Angel icon. :))

[emma_in_dream]

See, I don't think that a single woman I know has Darcy confused with guys they know.

[aryas_zehral]

I know of a couple. One of whom is getting, year on year, more and more bitter about the fact that she hasn't found her perfect rich, intelligent, gorgeous, devoted man. I have to say I do kinda blame all those Mills and Boon type romance novels she reads (and she reads alot) and that have shaped her outlook since she was a child. Also, in studying Jane Austen's men I get a lot of squeeing women waxing poetical about Darcy as soon as I mention my thesis topic. Darcy-type men do seem to have some hold over at least a certain portion of the female population.