Tandem feeding

[emma_in_dream]

I think I’m going to have to accept that I’m going to have to tandem feed. Despite having been weaned for nearly three months now, Pearl still lunges at my breasts every time she sees them. If she succeeds in latching on, she will continue suck for as long as I let her, undeterred by the fact that there isn’t a drop of milk.
 
My reasons for not wanting to tandem feeding were partly practical – it seems harder – and mostly psychological. Two of my worries about having a new baby circle around breast feeding.
 
Firstly, what if I do not bond with SLF instantly, as I did with Pearl? I would feel terribly guilty; and even worse if we went through the same breast feeding drama as last time because I know that I simply can’t do that again while I have Pearl to take care of as well. I spent up to two thirds of every 24 hours breastfeeding last time (factoring in breastfeeding, pumping, bottle feeding, cleaning up) and that’s just not going to be possible with a toddler as well. So if I don’t bond with the little one at once and I don’t breastfeed her, I will feel rotten about it for the rest of my life. 
 
And secondly, what if I look at the tiny, little baby and suddenly Pearl seems like an enormous, rampaging monster who inadvertently threatens SLF with her toddler clumsiness. This would certainly be exacerbated if she was bellying on up to the bar, putting her large (beautifully round) head next to a tiny newborn and literally taking food from her sister’s mouth.
 
I shall have to do some reading on how people handle tandem feeding.  I know I could just say no, but, frankly, I just don’t see that I’ll have the strength for that. Currently she accepts that there is no milk, but I suspect will become much more demanding once there is a supply.

Comments

[fred_mouse]

I've done some asking around regarding what people know about tandem feeding and the effects on supply, but the supply expert is away for another 3 weeks. I'll let you know what I find out. My belief is that second lactations tend to be better, and that the extra stimulation can't hurt your supply, it just depends on how much milk she gets. If she always feeds second, she will end up with the higher fat milk, but less of it. Given that one of the standard recommended treatments for supply problems is more pumping, she will effectively be doing that for you, in a hopefully more relaxed manner!

And if you have any problems, I would think that J would be happy to have you measure your supply, and see how it is going - this is one of the projects that is ongoing with the group, and tandem feeding is a variation that isn't seen very often.

(some of this you probably know anyway, but I'm working on the telling what I can think of approach, rather than just what I think you won't know).

[emma_in_dream]

Yes, to the advice from an expert! And yes to measuring if necessary!

And, as you say, Pearl will act as a pump to increase supply. There is an upside - It just seems like it will also be so difficult to arrange.

[fred_mouse]

by 'measure your supply', I mean there is a standard way of dealing with it, and you would be provided with the necessary scales, and support, and so forth.