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emma_in_dreamI have been stuck in a bad patch for a while, mostly revolving around Pearl not sleeping (though not helped by not going to WorldCon).
She has been going to bed around 7:00 and going to sleep around 9:00 to 10:30.
Things I have managed to deduce:
* Much worse on days that I work, so some kind of separation anxiety link.
* The biting is mostly on my stomach after giving kisses to her sister. So some kind of anxiety about her sister as well.
* She gets worse when I get upset, and I get more upset when I am tired and hungry (that is, on days when I pick her up straight from work and don’t get to eat til she goes to bed, by which time the thought of food nauseates me and I have nothing).
* She gets worse when I read stupid parenting books that have useless bloody advice like ‘You may have to repeat this 50 times!’. Seriously, if I repeat something every five minutes for two hours, that’s an easy 20 a night, right? So for a month, that’s over 500, yes?
Also, I find the advice to send in my partner *enraging*.
I can’t tell if it is hypochondria or an attempt to keep me in the room when she complains of sore feet, sore knees and sore shoulders or if they really are sore. She does have hyper-flexible joints and her knees actually did swell up once in a horribly disturbing way (went away before the GP could see it of course). I find giving her massages more and more painful with the bending over her.
She gets worse when I think about how hideous it will be when there are two babies. I seriously cannot imagine how I am going to cope.
She is perfectly happy when I hold her all night, but this cannot be a pattern we relapse into! Because someone else will also want holding!
In fact, I will go so far as to say that I have been wondering if I have made a terrible, terrible mistake; if I am in fact incapable of taking care of two children. I feel like I am barely coping, clinging on at the moment and things are only going to get much, much worse.
I know it won’t be the same as last time. At the very least, the odds of the house being hit by lightning again are low (and if it does happen I am so selling my story to women’s magazines). So I will probably have functioning electrical goods and a phone. Also, it won’t be so cold so even if the heaters do all explode, it won’t be so bad.
But still.
She has been going to bed around 7:00 and going to sleep around 9:00 to 10:30.
Things I have managed to deduce:
* Much worse on days that I work, so some kind of separation anxiety link.
* The biting is mostly on my stomach after giving kisses to her sister. So some kind of anxiety about her sister as well.
* She gets worse when I get upset, and I get more upset when I am tired and hungry (that is, on days when I pick her up straight from work and don’t get to eat til she goes to bed, by which time the thought of food nauseates me and I have nothing).
* She gets worse when I read stupid parenting books that have useless bloody advice like ‘You may have to repeat this 50 times!’. Seriously, if I repeat something every five minutes for two hours, that’s an easy 20 a night, right? So for a month, that’s over 500, yes?
Also, I find the advice to send in my partner *enraging*.
I can’t tell if it is hypochondria or an attempt to keep me in the room when she complains of sore feet, sore knees and sore shoulders or if they really are sore. She does have hyper-flexible joints and her knees actually did swell up once in a horribly disturbing way (went away before the GP could see it of course). I find giving her massages more and more painful with the bending over her.
She gets worse when I think about how hideous it will be when there are two babies. I seriously cannot imagine how I am going to cope.
She is perfectly happy when I hold her all night, but this cannot be a pattern we relapse into! Because someone else will also want holding!
In fact, I will go so far as to say that I have been wondering if I have made a terrible, terrible mistake; if I am in fact incapable of taking care of two children. I feel like I am barely coping, clinging on at the moment and things are only going to get much, much worse.
I know it won’t be the same as last time. At the very least, the odds of the house being hit by lightning again are low (and if it does happen I am so selling my story to women’s magazines). So I will probably have functioning electrical goods and a phone. Also, it won’t be so cold so even if the heaters do all explode, it won’t be so bad.
But still.
no subject
Date: 2010-09-11 03:42 pm (UTC)1. the end of the pregnancy is the hardest bit when you have a toddler already - and the step from having one child in the house to two is nowhere near as exhausting as the step from none to one.
2. you have lots of friends. call us. let us set up an evening roster for you. even if it is just to bring you meals for the days that you are at work. (hint - I need recipe suggestions. I'm a bit stuck in the types of things I cook, and tomato is my substitute for cheese)
no subject
Date: 2010-09-13 01:36 pm (UTC)